Why am I losing interest at Work? I’m confused !!!
Often during my coaching assignments clients pose a blunt question to me – How can I retain interest at my work? Why is it that I’m losing interest, the job used to be quite interesting when I joined but now I’m losing it. Whats wrong with me. I’m unable to find reasons. I’m STUCK, help me.
Well in my work I have to move my client forward. However I did bit of research on this subject, here in this post I will present key findings from that research I hope will come handy for others.
Human beings live in amongst three paradoxical needs – 1) certainty and uncertainty, 2) individuality and connectedness, 3) having and giving. Throughout our lives we bounce from one paradox to the other and keep on juggling till the last day. In fact this practice starts from day zero till final day. Let me explain these in bit more details.
Certainty and Uncertainty
Certainty leads to Order and stability, while Uncertainty leads to Growth. When we are at first level of career we soon aspire to create that sense of stability, or even married life stability is utmost important. Settling down in a new city, good job, stable income, place to stay, maids coming timely, social circle etc – all become goals to achieve stability. We aim to reach that stability at every moment. This is the first paradox. We try to achieve certainty by controlling everything around us.
But wait a minute. As soon as stability happens and we cherish the stable income, stable lifestyle, everything is routine …. soon we start getting bored. Certainty after sometime leads to boredom. Then we aspire for some variety. Lets have a baby… or lets change job or lets move to another city – there could be n number of things that we may aspire to bring that change in our lives i.e introduce an element of uncertainty. We need surprises and challenges to keep going. Remember humans are most adventurous animals.
Again when uncertainty becomes reality i.e new city or new job we start worrying as we then desperately require stability and certainty.
We start toggling between two ends.
Individualistic and Connectedness
Five fingers, individually different are useless on their own but together when connected are of great use. Similarly every humans are different just like their finger prints. We are unique individuals, unique identity. We have an innate need to be known, to feel significant. In order to pursue need of recognition, sometimes people can go to any extreme means. We know that individualistic living is not rewarding, it doesn’t fulfill our innate need to be significant.
This leads to the need of Connection. In todays world of Social Media the ability to connect and be known has become common. From dressing in unique way to doing business in an unusual niche is all possible today. However sometimes we go overboard with connections, when we criticize or judge people. This leads to breaking relationships. The relationship issue is quite prevalent these days amongst celebrities.
Once you are alone you can hardly sustain then one may join clubs of likeminded people. Again here we see that we toggle between the ends.
Having and Giving
From very childhood we teach our children to ‘share’ things, be appreciative and respect others. Lets face it we cannot possess anything and everything. This applies to Leadership qualities as well. A leader who has excellent communication techniques might be absolutely appalling in strategizing or vice versa. What do they do, they leverage strengths from others. This paradox deals with the art of selfishness and unselfishness. Yes I say its an art because there is no science about it. We hear about ‘Philanthrophy’ quite a lot these days and thanks to Bill and Melinda Gates, Jack Welch, Warren Buffet. We hear them that now they are ‘giving’ away their wealth i.e. all that they have accumulated.
While everything we do in life will be tossed around these paradoxes, as a leader we must recognize these paradoxes and choose to walk a ‘Middle Path’ – as Buddha calls it. It is concerned with the relationship between thoughts and behavior, and the relationship between behavior and its consequences.
It is natural that we shall be thrown like a tennis ball across the paradoxes, trick is to stay in control of our thoughts and behavior.
Thats the secret sauce to complete life.